You Have Shown Yourself To Be A:
     [ ] Clueless Newbie
     [X] Lamer
     [ ] Moderator
     [ ] Wannabe-gangstah
     [ ] Reactionary
     [ ] Pervert
     [ ] Geek
     [ ] Pre-Pubescent
     [ ] Nerd
     [ ] Elvis
     [ ] Fed
     [ ] Slut
     [ ] Freak
     [X] Liar
     [ ] Loser
     [ ] Cryogenic
     [ ] Scammer
     [X] Spammer
     [X] Moron
     [ ] Asshole
     [ ] Jerk
     [ ] Dickhead
     [ ] Nazi pig
     [X] Monkey spanker
     [ ] Idiot with CAPS LOCK button depressed forever
     [ ] Self-righteous prick
     [ ] Fundamentalist christian cretin
     You Are Being Flamed Because :
     [X] You suck
     [ ] You make no sense
     [ ] You said "me too" to something
     [ ] You posted to 10 or more groups
     [ ] You started an off-topic thread
     [ ] I don't like your tone of voice
     [ ] You are acting like a slut
     [ ] Your sig/alias is retarded
     [ ] I think you might be a fed
     [X] You're worthless
     [ ] You piss me off
     [ ] You whine like a damn toddler
     [ ] You have the grammar of an inbred West Virginian
     [ ] I saw a wanted poster with your face on it in the sysops' office
     [ ] You have no clue whatsoever about this topic and still posted
     [ ] You posted a "HOLIER THAN THOU" message
     [ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
     [ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
     [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
     [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
     [X] You posted a blatently obvious lie
     [ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous 
     [ ] You replied to the above message type believing it was someone famous
     [ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme & claimed it was legal
     [ ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs because you think that makes you cool
     [ ] You brag about things that never happened
     [ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
     [ ] You posted a make money quick scam
     [ ] You started a thread that everybody is going to cross post flames to
     [ ] You're so uniquely lost I had to create a new category just for you
     [ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
         worthless that you are being flamed anyway
     [ ] You reek of someone who learned all he knows about computers
         from the "Quick Study" videos
     [ ] You asked another stupid question
     [ ] You posted the same article more than twice in a row to the SAME
             NEWSGROUP within five minutes of each other 
     To Repent, You Must :
     [X] Stop masturbating for a week
     [ ] Actually post something relevant
     [ ] Give up your ISP account
     [ ] Read the FAQ
     [ ] Slice your wrist
     [ ] Do 200 pushups non-stop
     [ ] Realise that you don't know shit about the subject of this group
     [ ] RTFM
     [ ] Watch at least 25 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 continuously
     [ ] Be the PR guy for Depends Undergarment
     [X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
     [ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
     [X] Tell your Mommy to up your medication
     [ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
     [ ] Hang yourself with some SCSI cables
     [ ] Take up Bill Gates' cock and cum in the name of Microsoft
     [ ] Get off the 'Net and go back to your Sega Genesis
     In Closing, I'd Like to Say :
     [X] Blow me
     [X] Get a life
     [ ] Get stuffed
     [ ] Eat shit
     [ ] You need to get laid
     [X] Shut yer mouth from now on
     [X] Fuck off